My “Unapologetically Me” Paradox

I havent blogged in a while but thanks for your patience if you’ve now found yourself reading this… Life…

Here comes a big ol’ pile of thoughts and ramblings….WHEYYYY

Sometimes I find myself wondering if people truly understand how the patriarchy and the media are responsible for making us assume what is or should be normal, or accepted.

I feel there’s a perception of what being black “is” that the media plays up to the point of feeling isolated or cagey if you’re not somewhat stereotypical. While the paradigm is changing, it’s not changing quickly enough in my opinion. People like The Slumflower and Evelyn from the Internets (to name a few) have been super important to me as I’ve been able to see a reflection of myself in their ideals, and I wholeheartedly thank them for speaking up, and being unapologetic about their blackness and identity.

Yet some of us are still being questioned or judged for not meeting stereotypical requirements of what were seemingly supposed to be or act like?!


I love my skin, my hair and myself. Just because I’m a young black woman does not mean that my default emotion to any situation is one of anger or snide remarks. I shouldn’t have to feel like my blackness is allowed to be questioned by others. My blackness, my perception of life, my identity…all and more elements are completely unique to me, and that’s the point.

While we can collectively share identities like your ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, age etc, our individual identity needs to be respected and accepted more as well, especially when you go against “the grain” so to speak.

Growing up, I was told by various whispering and shouting voices that listening to rock or “white” music is wrong. So wrong in fact that is was deemed normal to think this way.


The systematic ignorance and purposeful assumptions in the misrepresentation of all who do do not fit the patriachal “way” or “norm” is a cancer.

As a human being, I’m able to feel a wide spectrum of emotions. We all are, irrespective of our heritage.

The ignorant folk really need to pick up a book or 500, have conversations that allow them to see what the systematic oppression that’s now been hailed as “the norm” has affected those who are stereotyped so negatively, and understand that those of us challenging this have every right to do so.

Taking the necessary time to unlearn what we’ve been so forcibly programmed to accept as “normal” in various aspects of what we’re supposedly meant to achieve is highly important in your own journey….

And when you share that knowledge with others, it really helps with their journeys too.

There’s only one me in the world. That’s fucking ace, and can be daunting….but it’s true. Why shy away from this fact?

You? Reading this?

There’s only one you….so be that….

….I feel like this post transformed into a whole bunch of other things, and that’s totally fine! This is just how my mind works guys….

Peace x

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